Brownie Blues

20 March 2013 at 11:20 PM in Eats

Brownies

 

Chocolate, butter, eggs, sugar, flour, salt, and vanilla... simple enough?

Chocolate, butter, eggs, sugar, flour, salt, and vanilla... simple enough?

     I made some brownies on Friday that tasted like a meth lab smells.  Yeah.  That bad.

    Granted, I'd never attempted brownies "from scratch" before, but I'm not completely hopeless in the kitchen.  Maybe I overheated the butter and chocolate mixture or the walnuts were rancid, or maybe even the metal pan and aluminum foil had some kind of reaction.  Maybe my oven cooks with mustard gas.  I know it wasn't the recipe I was using because David Leibovitz is a god among bakers, but something went wrong because those suckers were toxic.  Even the dogs gave  them a wide berth, and they eat underwear.

Chopped chocolate and cubed butter in the double boiler

Chopped chocolate and cubed butter in the double boiler

     Still, I refused to be defeated.   I've had some really good brownies lately-  just the right balance of bitter and sweet, fudgey and cakey-  and I, never having made brownies that didn't come out of a box, feel seriously inferior.    I (with the help of Smitten Kitchen) tried again.

     This time, I opted for the double boiler method of melting the chocolate and butter rather doing it over direct heat to make sure I wasn't overcooking anything.  I cracked each egg into a bowl first to make sure they were still fresh.  I bought baker's chocolate bars in case the chips were the culprit, and used pecans instead of walnuts.  I left out the foil lining the pan.  I even doubled the recipe just so I could bake them in glass instead of metal.   Most importantly, I tasted the batter at all the crucial points to make sure there was no chemical funny business; that's right, I was so dedicated to making an edible brownie that I stared salmonella right in its vomit-laden face.  

Rufus is hopeful, too... hopeful that N3 will spill something.

Rufus is hopeful, too... hopeful that N3 will spill something.

    By the time the brownies hit the oven, I felt a glimmer of hope.  I'd succeeded in making a better batter, at least, and they smelled great.  The dogs wandered in, and camped out in front of the oven.  Already, I was ahead of the game.  

     As it turns out, anticipation is the enemy of baking.   Thirty minutes felt like thirty days.  I fiddled on the internet until the oven timer went off.  Finally!  Done!  Yesss! 

     Nope.  Still gooey.  Dammit.

     Back in the warm oven it went for another ten minutes.  A watched brownie never bakes.   At least five of my hairs went gray while I waited. 

     Out of the oven again! Somewhat less gooey! Finally, I was going to get to taste the fruits of my labor...   except they have to cool completely before cutting.  F&#$.  I thought about shoving my face into the pan.  Instead, I shoved the pan into the freezer.  Another thirty minutes of agony, and (even though they were still warm on the bottom) I was fork deep in delicious.

 

Gettin' baked, y'all.

Gettin' baked, y'all.

    Final answer?  Four out of five stars.  Or forks.  Whisks?  Whatever.  The texture was perfect-  chewy, but neither cakey nor gooey.  That's the good news.  The bad news is that they were a bit too sweet and a bit less chocolatey than I wanted.   Still, I think with a few more modifications (less sugar, added chocolate chunks) this will be my go-to brownie recipe.*  Best of all?  I'm a kitchen chemistry catastrophe no more.


 

*Author's note:  The original brownie recipe from Smitten Kitchen can be found here.  I won't be republishing it because it isn't mine.

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The Little Things

24 February 2013 at 2:52 PM in Et Cetera, Home & Garden

OHouse2     It's official.  As of three weeks ago, N3 and I became homeowners.  It seems like forever ago, and also no time at all.

     I could go on and on about the house, and how in love with it we both are, and blah blah blah.  Conversely, I could go on and on about how our bank accounts are hemorrhaging money and it's still not completely unpacked, much less furnished.  I'll do neither.  Instead, I'll talk about the small stuff that I didn't entirely realize I missed- the stuff you're not supposed to sweat.

     I like having a driveway instead of a parking lot.  I like vacuuming  at 3 AM without pissing anybody off.  I like being able to open the dishwasher and the refrigerator at the same time.  I like having a mailbox that stands alone, and I like not having extra numbers and letters at the end of my address.  I like that my neighbors' preferred thermostat settings have no bearing on the temperature in my bedroom.  I like not having to take turns in the bathroom.  I like having a yard for the dogs to play in and plants to grow in.  I like not hearing car doors and voices and seeing headlights all night long.  I like not having to climb stairs with my groceries.  I like having the drug store, the dry cleaner, the market, and several restaurants within walking distance.  I like being carpet-free.  I like being able to stand in the kitchen with another person.  I like knowing that I don't have to move again for a very long time. Most of all, I like love being home.

     It really is the little things.

    

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13 for ’13

30 December 2012 at 4:23 PM in Et Cetera

With only one day left until the new year comes sailing in, I think it's time to talk new resolutions and finish up the "what happened in 2012" trifecta.  Here goes nothing.

  1. Cook more.   I did a fair amount of cooking this year, but less than I would've liked thanks to the limitation of my tiny apartment kitchen.  Since we're moving (in 5 weeks! Eeeee!) back to a real house with an actual kitchen in it, I hope 2013 will be the year of the homecooked all-the-things.
  2. Take more photos.  Most everything I photographed this year was magazine-related, but with a new puppy and a new house, I've got plenty to material for inspiration.
  3. Participate in holidays.  This year, I'm planning to actually decorate for and celebrate all the holidays, right on down to the 4th of July.  I didn't even manage to put up a Christmas tree this year, and that's just depressing.
  4. Entertain.  I love love love to have people over, and I scarcely managed any entertaining at all in 2012.  I gotta do better.
  5. Read more books.  As promised, this is a do-over from last year's list.  I didn't fare so well in 2012.
  6. See more live music.  Ditto the thing about the do-over from last year.
  7. Start an herb garden.  This will probably be the most challenging resolution because my thumbs are as brown as brown can be.  I'm pretty sure I could kill kudzu.
  8. Learn the fine art of canning.  It just seems like something every self-respecting Southern girl should have in her skill set.  A never-ending supply of okra pickles and homemade marinara doesn't hurt, either.
  9. Eat (more) locally.  It's my understanding our little town has a weekly local farmer's market, and the State Farmer's Market is an easy drive.  No excuses!
  10. Get involved with local government.  Okay, yes, I do work for local government, but I mean more in the role of a concerned citizen.  Since we're moving back into a small town, I feel like it's part of my civic duty to be actively engaged in the economic development of the area.
  11. Furnish the house.  It might be a little ambitious, but I'd at least like to have all the rooms in our house basically furnished by this time in 2013.  I've got high hopes.
  12. Get out more.  I think this is going to be imperative with my job, but I'd like to get out more often to see and do things that aren't work-related.    Sidenote: going out to dinner doesn't count.
  13. Be happy.  Yeah, okay, this is a rerun from last year, too, but I think it deserves a spot on every year's list.  This year, I resolve to enjoy my friends, my family (dogs included), my job, and my new home and to never forget how lucky I am.

So that's it, folks-- that's what I've got in store for 2013.  I hope 2012 has left you all healthy and happy, and that 2013 brings more of the same.  See you next year!

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